Deactivating Writer's Block, Part 2...

Deactivating Writer's Block, About Me, Part 2:

Personal Post time. I've been getting the urge to write recently but I've been constantly working so literally haven't had the time. Crapmas and all that jazz. But due to the fact that January is naff for pubs, I find myself with an unscheduled night off. For which I am extremely grateful; my knees are on fire, I'm cramping like hell and I'm reeeeally not in the mood to deal with a bunch of pissed up idiots.

Sooo. I have Fibromyalgia. Or Fibro, as I usually call it. I have many other names for it of course, Hell on Earth and Bane of My Life, to name but a few.

Fibro is a chronic illness, and it appears that not a huge amount is really known about it. Apart from us poor bastards that have to live with it. We know everything.

I started getting symptoms when I was 18. Initially we thought it was to do with when I was was born. Had a few x-rays but nothing ever came of it. (I came out with a club foot and muscle wastage among other things). After that my symptoms were sporadic up until I turned 21.

After the pain that typically went away within 2 days or so, started camping out at around the 3 week mark I began to get concerned.

Thus sparking off over 10 years of failed doctor appointments, constant, widespread body pain, crippling anxiety and depression, pointless tests, and incorrect medications that all add up to my monumental distrust of all things NHS.

I will be going into far more detail in coming posts; I've had a smoke so it's a little hard to focus. I just wanted to write something to get it out.

I'm a crampy, achy, hormonal mess at the moment and I feel like I'm living in a flare - up. I'm constantly exhausted and my body hurts. All. The. Damn. Time.

 I've been on a little break from pole since mid-November. I really didn't want to, but it got to the stage where I had to listen to my body. As a result my mental health has kinda been in the toilet for a while. Luckily though, I intend on starting back at pole mid-January. 

I'm restarting my therapy sessions next week as well. After last year I think I need it. Still lots of shit to process and unpack methinks. I just hope the poor bastard's ready.

Bloody hell, look at how much I wrote.